Digital Low Down
by KirBy1
Summary: The Low-Down for Digi-Fiction. *HUMOR* *CROSSOVERS* *YAOI* *YURI* and much more! COMPLETE! ^_^
1. Enter the Insanity

Digital Low-Down  
  
By:KirBy  
  
A/N: Humor fic! After reading countless fics with countless plots, couples, and characters, Ive learnt theirs a pattern to all digimon stories.Well, isnt there? Mattering on the type, couple and setting, but most general their alot alike.True? And most the time, where are the digimon!? Their usually ignored, their lucky if their ever even mentioned.But that's not the point,if i dont stop, i could go on forever anyways, I wrote this fic, for humor purposes, to show all of my experiences with fics.Yeah, bashing for character, some couples, O.O.C.(out of characterness) too.  
  
But for anyone out for the love of the show, this goes out to you.  
  
Now did any of that make sense? Didnt think so.  
  
  
  
  
  
~  
  
Digital Low-Down  
  
Chapter 0ne: Enter the Insanity.  
  
-  
  
Narrator: In a deep dark cavern, somewhere far far away...  
  
Camera opens up..  
  
Theirs a dark room with one light in the middle of it, their seems to be a platform with velvet red carpet lining the floor.  
  
A fimiliar figure steps up and clears their throat.  
  
"Konnichiwa Minnasan, this is Taichi Yamagami."  
  
Theirs coughing heard in the audience, some dude runs up and whispers something in Tai's ear and runs back.  
  
"Oh, Im sorry, again, My name is Taichi Kamiya."  
  
Someone in the audience raises their hands, Tai points to them and they stand up.  
  
"I thought your name was Tai Yamagami?!"  
  
Tai looks a bit nervous "Er, yeah, Im Tai Yamagami...anyways."  
  
JUST THEN....Yamato Ishida runs up on stage, out of breath.  
  
A bunch of fangirls start squeeling their heads off and racing towards the stage.  
  
"IT'S YAMA!"  
  
"Matt?"  
  
The blonde just blinks and looks at Tai "I thought my name was Yamato Ishida"  
  
Tai shook his head. "I call you Matt, the fangirls call you Yama Ishida."  
  
"But that's confusing!"  
  
"Yeah I know."  
  
Matt shook his head and stood up straight. "Tai I have something to tell you."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I love Sora."  
  
Sora runs up stage and kugs Matt.  
  
All the fangirls go silent and start scowling at the sight of Sora.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Tai screams.  
  
"Oh Matt! I love you!" Sora says cuddling up to him.  
  
Matt looks over at a whimpering Tai. "But I love Tai more."  
  
"What?!" Tai sniffles.  
  
"Yes! Now lets have Mad Monkey butt-sex while my perverted band watches!"  
  
Tai leaps on Matt and starts groping/kissing/touching him and Sora breaks up in tears.  
  
Akemi,Toshiki,Itsu and Gendo jump on the stage, lights start centering on them and the song 'Butterfly' comes on.  
  
People start singing with the lyrics, swaying back and forth with lighters lit.  
  
'Laaaaaa laaaaaaaaaa laaaaaaa'  
  
JUST THEN, another familiar face breaks into the spotlight, the duuuuuuuuun dun duuuun KAIZER!  
  
"YOU CANNOT HAVE HIM TAI YAMAGAMI!!!!"  
  
Tai looks up "I thought i was Taichi Kamiya?"  
  
The kaizer pauses "Er, uh, yeah, whatever, ANYWAYS, I AM THE DIGIMON EMPEROR AND I MUST HAVE YAMA ISHIDA TO HAVE MAD MONKEY BUTT SEX!!!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Tai gets up, ready to fight the Kaizer.  
  
Tai pulls out a light saber and an image of Young Jedi Gennai appears. "May the digital be with you."  
  
"Thank you Obi won Gennai!"  
  
Tai bows.  
  
Neeeeeeext The Kaizer pulls out his trusty whip and synical VOICE, DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN (A/N:wait, can you pull out a voice? er.)  
  
"YOU WILL GIVE INTO MY SEXY SYNICAL VOICE AND POWERFUL WHIP SO THUS I CAN HAVE YAMA!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" another person appears.  
  
Its Daisuke Motomiya!  
  
"NO! KEN! DONT, HE'S MY IDOL!!!!!!!!"  
  
"ARGH, ITS DAVIS MOTOMIYA!"  
  
A fangirl stands up "No that's Dai Motomiya."  
  
"Er whatever" everyone says in a unise.  
  
"I thought you turned back!!!" Daisuke whimpers.  
  
"I turned back!"  
  
"Yeah then we turned you back."  
  
"Then i got drunk and turned back."  
  
"No, remember, we turned you back."  
  
"But remember at Izzy's party.......?!"  
  
"Uh...i dont remember much since thats when my-secret-now-not-so-secret alchoholism came out."  
  
"I thought you had A.D.D."  
  
"That was last week."  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP AND JUST FIGHT ME!" Tai screams.  
  
"Oh yes, We must win over Yama!"  
  
The camera centers towards TK and Yama, WHO ARE MAKING OUT.  
  
"INCEST!!!!" everyone screams.  
  
"No Matt! Stoooooooop!" TK whimpers.  
  
"Mmm No..mmm" Yamato grumbles.  
  
"TK IS RAPING YAMA!!!!!!!!!" the fangirls scream in unise.  
  
"What the hell?" Tk mumbles.  
  
"I thought his name was Takeru." The kaizer/ken says.  
  
"I thought it was T.P." said Davis.  
  
"Well its Yaoi so its Ok." Tai says.  
  
"But i thought he liked Kari!" the Kaizer says fantically.  
  
"I LIKE KARI YAMAGAMI!" scream Davis.  
  
"YOU LOVE ME BITCH!" The kaizer screams raising his whip.  
  
"Yes master!"  
  
"Yes, TK must date Hikari since Taichi and Yamato are going out, IT IS CANNON AND YOU MUST OBIDE!" the fangirls scream.  
  
Just then Hikari is pushed out and Takeru and her are pushed together.  
  
"ANGELS FOREVER!" the fangirls chant.  
  
Yamato and Tai are embraced in a hug.  
  
"Its just like last season they were just kids!" Yamato sniffled.  
  
"I know I know." Tai says.  
  
"NOOO!" Takeru screams. "Im gay! Stop! I dont like Hikari!"  
  
"You must love Davis then!" the fangirls chant.  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Ken!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Tai!!"  
  
"Er, No!!"  
  
"YOUR BROTHER!"  
  
"YES! But not that way!!!!!!!"  
  
"Who then!?" the girls say confused.  
  
"IORI!"  
  
"HIS NAME IS CODY!"  
  
"Er whatever."  
  
"BUT THAT'S SICK, HE'S JUST A KID!"  
  
Takeru starts to cry "NO!! Nobody cared when I was a kid and Yamato raped me!"  
  
They gasp "You raped your brother when you were eight?!"  
  
Takeru looks up "What the hell?!"  
  
"WE WANT LEMON WE WANT SEX, HENTAI HENTAI YES YES YES!!" the fangirls start to chant.  
  
"Uhm.."  
  
"What are we doing again?" Tai asks.  
  
"Each other?" Matt implies.  
  
"TK has to be gothic now!" The fangirls yell.  
  
"What?!" Tk says as some people grab him and pull him behind the curtin.  
  
~  
  
MEANWHILE....for no appearant reason..  
  
~  
  
"Finally, I got into it, Prodigiouse!" Izzy says tapping away at his laptop.  
  
"What?" Mimi asks walking over.  
  
"Its a program for.." Izzy tries to explain.  
  
"OH MY GOD ITS HENTAI!" Mimi screams.  
  
"What?!" Joe asks running over.  
  
"OH LORD!" his nose starts to bleed.  
  
"What are you guys talking about?!" Izzy looks up confused.  
  
"IZZY YOU SICK BASTARD!"  
  
"MY NAME IS KOUSHIROU DAMNIT!"  
  
"Not this week." a bloody nosed Joe says.  
  
"Er, whatever. Anyways this isnt hentai its.."  
  
"HENTAI!"  
  
"Arent you suppose to be in America!?" Izzy yells at Mimi.  
  
"Oh yeah!" she sweatdrops.  
  
"IZZY YOU MUST COME, MY COMPUTER'S CRASHED AND IM NOT SMART ENOUGH TO FIX IT!" Yolei screams entering the room.  
  
She stops yelling and looks at Mimi "Why hello."  
  
"Hi" Mimi smiles and they start kissing/groping each other.  
  
"OH LORD!" Joe says and his nose starts to bleed again.  
  
"Uhm.."Izzy says.  
  
He goes over to Yolei's house and looks at her computer.  
  
"Yolei, your computer got a virus from one of these hentai pictures i think that if i.."  
  
"That's not hentai, Kari took those for me."  
  
"Uh...its Hentai...see?"  
  
Izzy clicks on it an a picture pops up..  
  
Iori walks in.  
  
"YOLEI, I TOLD YOU NOT TO SHOW ANYONE THOSE PICTURES OF ME!!"  
  
"Arent you suppose to be the quiet one?"  
  
Iori looks down. "Oh yeah."  
  
"I have to get Tai's digivice to fix it, I hear he's in Myotismon's castle again." Izzy says.  
  
"I thought we killed him." Joe comments.  
  
"Well now its SUPERSexyVeryBlondeEvilHellCustomMyotismon's castle."  
  
"Try saying that 6 times fast." Joe smiles.  
  
"He evovled?!" Mimi questions  
  
"DIGI-VOVLED." Yolei says and waves to the kiddies.  
  
"Yes we the digi egg of evilness." Izzy comments.  
  
"Theirs one of those?" Yolei puts in.  
  
"Yes, Ken had it, how did you think he got Wormmon?"  
  
"Wormmon isnt evil." Mimi cries.  
  
"I thought it was with Ryo." Iori says.  
  
"WHO!?" everyone says in unise.  
  
"Ryo, that guy who is like the best digidestin ever and noone knows who he is."  
  
"Cody you must stop reading comic books they'll ruin your mind, now we have to go to SUPERSexyVeryBlondeEvilHellCustomMyotismon's castle for Tai's digivice so we can fix Yolei's hentai filled computer."  
  
So Izzy gathers everyone (Mimi,Joe,Cody,Yolei) and they set off for the digital world.  
  
Duuuuuuuuuuun DUN DUUUUUUUUN!!!  
  
Narrator:When will people learn digidestin have digimon? Will Takari be acceptable? Is Myotismon really back? Do potatoes really have eyes...stay tuned for the next epsoide of our exciting adventure!  
  
Their's coughing heard and the Narrator speaks up again.  
  
Narrator: Ooh yes........To be CONTINUED! Wait, did'nt i say that? Damn those writers.. i need a coffee break *sighs*  
  
~  
  
A/N: HAHAHA er, what didja think!? This is what you get for not getting much sleep...Oh Yeah, Akemi,Itsu,Gendo and Toshiki are all (c) of Empress of Eclipse, their not mine, nor will they ever be cuz she's a much much better writer than me and.......*cough* so on.  
  
Uhm...Reviews?!? *smiles sweetly* 


	2. Journey into the Asalymn

Digital-Low Down  
  
By:KirBy  
  
A/N: Obviousely you liked it, so i continue with more humor and insanity! Yeah more crossovers and OOC (out of character) stuff. Oh yeah and Yaoi (boy x boy relations) and Yuri (girl x girl relations)  
  
Anyways Here goes!  
  
Remember.  
  
If a clown is black and white, its a mime.  
  
I know that had nothing to do have anything to do with digimon, i just like saying it. ;P  
  
  
  
  
  
~  
  
Digital-Low Down  
  
Chapter 2: Journey into the Asalymn  
  
-  
  
Narrator: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeelcome back to our wonderful fanfiction where pigs fly and people throw ducks at balloons and nothing is as at it seems!  
  
A/N: You stole that off the simpsons!  
  
Narrator: Your not the boss of me!  
  
A/N: See! You did it again!  
  
Narrator: Why you lil....!  
  
A/N: JUST GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!!  
  
Narrator: *coughs* Yes.  
  
  
  
"Are we there yet?" Iori peeps up after walking through the never ending forest of treemon.  
  
"No." Izzy replies.  
  
5 seconds later.  
  
"Are we there yet?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Now?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"How about now?"  
  
"Er..no."  
  
"Ok, now?!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Oh alright........are we there yet?!"  
  
"NOO!!!!!" everyone anwsers in unise.  
  
"Why not?" Iori whimpers.  
  
"Because were stuck in the never ending forest of treemon." Joe sighs.  
  
"Yeah but.....are we there yet?"  
  
Everyone growls and ignores Iori.  
  
"So then this guy says clip instead of magazine." Miyako is telling Mimi.  
  
"You told me that joke already."  
  
"No this is the one where the guy walks into the bar and says it."  
  
"You told me that one too."  
  
"DID NOT!"  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"So anyways, this guy walks in the bar with a monkey on his says and he says Clip when he MEANT magazine."  
  
MEANWHILE..because this isnt gonna get anywhere if i dont change the setting.  
  
"I CHOSE YOU JIGGLYPUFF!!" Tai throws down a pokeball and Jigglypuff pops out.  
  
"Jiggly!"  
  
"SPLASH JIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGLLY!" Tai screams.  
  
"Jigglypuff cant do splash you bastard." Ken grumbles.  
  
"Oh and your Magikarp can?"  
  
"Erm."  
  
"THUUUUUUUUUNDER SHOCK JIGGLYPUFF!"  
  
"He cant do that either Tai." Ken says rolling his eyes.  
  
"NO! MY POKEMON FAINTED!"  
  
"Jiggly?"  
  
"Oh wait, never mind."  
  
"FACE IT, YOUR NO FSCKING ASH KETCHUP AND YOU WILL NEVER BE!!"  
  
"I thought his name was Satoshi?"  
  
"Erm, whatever."  
  
"Anyways, you are not match for my SUPERSPIFFSHINERTHANUSUALCUSTOMCUSTOMSANDROCK!!!!!!!"  
  
"Tai, thats a furby."  
  
"NOOOOOOO! ITS ITS, THE SANDROCK, LOOK, I EVEN HAVE A CHIBI QUATRE DOLL!!" Tai whimpers.  
  
"This is getting stupid, Im going to rape Davish now."  
  
"I thought his name was Daisuke."  
  
"Erm,Whatever."  
  
"But Mastar, I havent completed my CosmicMoonVeryVerySHORTWhoreLikeFuka Transformation!" Daisuke whimpers.  
  
"What did I tell you about dressing up like Usagi?"  
  
"I thought her name was Serena.."  
  
"ARGH!"  
  
'Daisuke transform intoooooooooo NeoQueenChibiPinkDai!'  
  
"OH MY GOD, YOU ARE SO HOT, I SHALL RAPE MY NOW TRANSVISTITE SLAVE!" Ken screams and begans to molest NeoQueenChibiPinkDai.  
  
"OK Ok, Jiggly do Vine Whip, VINE WHIP!!"Tai says anxiously.  
  
"Puuuuuuff?"  
  
"Oh Tai! You must help me go find the last Clow Card so i can go marry my Brother!"Girly Yama calls.  
  
"Damnit, Im tryin to be a Pokemon Mastar!"  
  
Narrator: CAN WE GET OFF THE CROSSOVERS?!  
  
Everyone: SORRY!  
  
SUDDENLY a very goth dark Takeru is shoved onstage, AND HE'S EATING PINS.  
  
"OH MY GOD!" everyone says in unise.  
  
"Feh." Goth Takeru says.  
  
"He's so dark."Yamato comments.  
  
"And angsty."Tai adds.  
  
"And Gothic."Daisuke finishes.  
  
"OH CAN I BE GOTHIC TOO!?"Hikari calls out.  
  
"NO!"says everyone.  
  
Hikari started crying and ran off to wherever Sora went.  
  
"MAAAAAAAAAAAAATT!"Jun cries running up on stage.  
  
"ARGH!"Yamato yelps as Jun wraps her arms around Yamato.  
  
"Well that promotes Daikeru!"Daisuke smiles and lears towards Goth Takeru.  
  
"YIPPEE!"  
  
"EXCUSE ME!" The kaizer yells "IM THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS, THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS AND YOU SHALL BOW!!!"  
  
Narrator: I SAID NO FSCKING CROSSOVERS!!  
  
"Sorry." Ken sobs. "I just wanted to be liked, after Osamu died and Ryo raped me.."  
  
"RYO!? WHO'S THAT?!" The audience calls.  
  
"Like the best tamer...ever!"  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"The guy who had the veemon."  
  
Jepordy music comes on and the audience looks stumped!  
  
Narrator: This could be the end of it folks, if the audience doesnt awnser in the next five seconds they could lose it all!  
  
"I WANT TO CALL A FRIEND!" someone calls out.  
  
"I NEED TO BORROW A VOULE!" someone else calls.  
  
"Sorry times up!" Ken says looking at the card "You *are* the weakest link!"  
  
"I SHALL SAVE HYRULE!!" Yama calls out in a Link outfit.  
  
"Er."  
  
Narrator: NO FSCKING CROSSOVERS!  
  
"But its a gaaaaaame!"  
  
"No!!"  
  
Yamato sighs.  
  
JUST THEN  
  
Koushiro and Company breaks in.  
  
"TAI YAMAGAMI WE HAVE COME FOR YOUR SISTER!!!!"Koushiro yells.  
  
"Are we there yet?" Iori says.  
  
"Uhm yeah!"  
  
"Horray! I want to ride the poooooooony!"  
  
"Erm."  
  
"Well she's not here Izzay."  
  
"My name is Koush!"  
  
"Erm, whatever."  
  
"Anyways, SINCE your sister is not here we have come for something...something very important and it is so important it may save the world and this thing i am talking about which i will soon explain is of great value and only one pure of heart can have it and this thing is..................................."  
  
Screencuts off.  
  
Narrator: WELL Kiddies, You'll have to watch NEXT time and you want to see the end of this, until next time, EAT YOUR TOOAST!!  
  
~  
  
TBC! (to be concerned! er i mean continued! ^^;)  
  
A/N: What didya think?! *giggles* Oh yesh, Goth T.K. is (c) of Clare and Zelda is (c) of Nintendo.  
  
Anyone who trys to steal it are gonna get their ass kicked, yea see'?!  
  
Oh yesh one last Thing...  
  
Reviiiiiiiiiew! :-D  
  
BUT only if you feel the diar need to comment on this collection of letters that forms words that make up sentences which go in paragraphs which tell a story of a long long time ago..  
  
WTF, your still reading this?!? Go get a life you pervs! 


	3. But in the End,Is it really the end?

Digital Low-Down  
  
By:KirBy  
  
A/N: Damn, never ever thought i wash gonna finish this, yeah more crossovers but more of, er, TAMERS crossover.Uhm, anything else is just insanity, plain and simple.Kinda short, ah sue me! Now lets roll tiz thang one moe time Charlie!  
  
Ryo:Who's Charlie?  
  
Spe[:Meh name ish Charlie!  
  
Ryo: Your name is Spek with a fscking strange K!  
  
Spe[:CHARLIE!  
  
Ryo:Whatever  
  
Ah stop bitchin, they dont want to see my stupid altar egos they want to read this!  
  
Ryo:Useless fictional sh..  
  
Spe[ and KirBy:RYO!  
  
Ryo:What??!?  
  
  
  
  
  
~  
  
Digital Low-Down  
  
Chapter Three: But in the End,Does it Really End?  
  
Awnser:Hell No!  
  
-  
  
Narrator:BACK TO THE SHOW!  
  
"and that is.......!" Izzy says as if he has been holding his breath a long long time.  
  
EVERYONE HOLDS THEIR BREATH!  
  
"That is.."  
  
"Is..?"  
  
"Is.."  
  
"Is???"  
  
"Is........"  
  
"IZZY!!!"  
  
"What?! Damnit, Im Koushirrro!"  
  
"Eh,Whatever. WELL WHAT WAS IT?"Everyone says in unise.  
  
"Um. I forget!"Izzy sweatdrops.  
  
EVERYONE FALLS OVER ANIME STYLE (dontcha hate dat?)  
  
JUST THEN..Something AMAZINGLY STUPID er NEW BREAKS THRU THE WALL!!!  
  
"NOT SO FAST, Uhm, FAST PEOPLE!" Screams some kid with yellow goggles.  
  
"No!"Sora says (who magikally came back some how.)  
  
"Impossible!" Says Yolei  
  
"INCREDIABLE!"Screams Ken who is making out with Yamato for some reason or another.  
  
"Its Its.."Jyou stammers.  
  
EVERYONE GASPS!  
  
"Yeah Yeah its the Digimon Tamers get over it." Ruki growls pulling out a ciggarett and smoking it.  
  
"Woah! Digidestin cant smoke!"Says Daisuke.  
  
"Says who?" Asks Lee lighting up one.  
  
"Wait wait, You can smoke, AND I NEVER KNEW ABOUT IT?!?"Screams Takeru.  
  
"Tamers live in a different world, boundries are endless." says Kazu smoking a ciggarett and coming out of nowhere.  
  
"Yup."Says Kenta again coming out of nowhere.  
  
"Arf! Thats right!" Juri says STILL coming out of nowhere.  
  
"THE INSANITY! I JUST..JUST CANT TAKE IT!" Kari screams running out.  
  
"Woah, someone's got it bad."Iori says because he hasnt said anything in awhile and this author FELT as though he should say something.  
  
SILENCE.  
  
"Welp,Im bored, anyone up for an orgy?" Yamato asks all of a sudden.  
  
"ME!"Everyone says in unise raising their hands.  
  
So everyone grabbed someone randomly and screwed like happy pervy bunnies that we all know and love.  
  
Fangrrlz and Fanboyz cheer them on.  
  
A WEEK LATER.  
  
A very sweat soaken,tired looking Tai steps up to the potium he once was going to use to talk to the fans about any changes in the digital and real world assiociation.  
  
"OOOKAY, Well after about 168 hours of practically non-stop boinking,well make that 166 cuz Takato wanted to go get some chinese, we fscked happily, now as I was saying dear loyal Digi-fans.."  
  
"EH! Times out!" Terri-Lee O'Mally (a/n:i think thats the lady who produces the english version of digimon, MUAHAHA!) Says clapping her hands.  
  
"But I.."  
  
"Eh!"  
  
"I just gotta."  
  
"EH EH!"  
  
"Bu.."  
  
"NO!"  
  
Narrator:Will paildramon ever find the fountain of youth....?  
  
"WAIT WAIT!" Tai says panicing.  
  
Narrator:Will the digidestin ever stop boinking.  
  
"PLEASE JUST 5.."  
  
Narrator:What the hell is season four? Stay tuned for digimon DIGITAL MONSTERS!  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tai screams pulling his big mop of hair frantically.  
  
BLACKOUT, SUPER-SPEED BY CREDITS!  
  
Uhm,End?  
  
"YOU CANT DO THIS, I HAVE A CONTRACT!" Tai screams.  
  
Yeah,definatlly end.  
  
~  
  
A/N: Oh Jesus Budda and Gennai! REAAAALLY Sorry bout that chapter, short but eh...worth the wait.  
  
Ryo:No one was reading it you dolt!  
  
Er, ok well *shrugs and looks hopefully towards the review box* Maybee i can pay them?  
  
Spe[:I have all your money.  
  
Damn. Er, CHERRIO!  
  
Spe[:Isnt that a cereal.  
  
Ryo sweatdrops.  
  
REAL END. Unless you want more then youd have to pay me, then my peoplez would talk to yours. 


End file.
